Unplugging

With how intricately social media intertwines with our daily lives, it is getting harder with every passing day to unplug all together. At the start of the year, I came in thinking I would deactivate Facebook so that I could focus on school, distraction-free. I soon realized, however, that student-made study guide, tips, and news were all usually shared on Facebook first. I have always been one to Snapchat adventures when traveling, but in school, with students who are considerably younger and therefore, part of a generation that snapchats every mundane detail of their lives, it is easy to be sucked in to that culture where you constantly reach for Snapchat. Likewise, memes are huge for this generation and I constantly receive tags and messages on Instagrams of memes applicable to our daily lives. I speak of this younger generation as if I was considerably older, which I’m well aware that I’m not. However, I do see an uninhibited addiction to social medial from my younger classmates, whereas I always seem to have this internal battle of what might be considered “too much”. Thus, due to this inner turmoil, I figured Spring Break would be the perfect excuse to simply unplug. Yes, that means all those streaks that I had going on Snapchat will dissolve. And I’ll have to go a week without hearing inside jokes on Facebook messenger or getting class updates in our Facebook groups. But I think, this will provide some clarity and peace of mind that I have long sought after. What can I say, I am trying to turn my life around – trying to move away from waking up in the morning and immediately checking all my social media accounts. Move away from agonizing over snaps sent without a reply back or unread messages. Will it be difficult? Absolutely – like an addict, I have this itch, this urge, to check everything due to FOMO (fear of missing out). Let’s see if I can last the next 8 days. Cheers!

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[E/I]NFJ

9 years ago, I took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator personality test for my AP Psychology test and was dubbed ENFJ, or “The Giver”. Despite numerous claims that this test is unreliable, I continued to score the same results taking the test 6 months and then a year later. I was convinced that this was my persona. However, a lot has changed in 9 years, and honestly, all I can say is thank god, because when I read my posts from 2009, I cringe with embarrassment. 17 year old me had completely different perspective on life – more optimistic, more naïve.

I finally reached a point in my life where I am satisfied. I am where I want to be in at least one aspect of my life. So that being said, I decided to take the test again, and lo and behold it is almost exactly the same as my results 9 years ago. Except, I am leaning more towards being an introvert than extrovert. But if you look at the breakdown below, you can see that I am pretty much split 50/50. Taking the test again, after a glass of wine, leads to pretty much the same results, except as you can see below, the scale has tipped back to being extroverted.

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Daydream Thoughts

It’s almost 2PM this rainy, Sunday afternoon and I still haven’t found the motivation to watch these last three lectures. Finding motivation has been hard this weekend. On one hand, I could journey to MANS and get myself into ‘school mode’, but I know I won’t retain the information. I think it’s the latter that’s keeping me from starting these lectures on the pelvis. I need to be in the right mindset to tackle such an intricate concept.

Among my bouts of daydreaming, I think about my life before and can’t help thinking that that “A” was an entirely different person. I enjoyed my life where I made money, but at the same time, I am more satisfied where I am right now, actively working towards my future. I guess every step I made was a step forward in a sense, but here I am – hundreds of miles away from home – taking medical school courses! I’m interacting with future physicians, current physicians, and academics who blow my mind by their passion. I think that’s why this past week has been so dull – without anything to do, I’m left daydreaming, or bingewatching TV, or eating my weight in snacks. So unlike my peers, I’m very excited that classes are back in session tomorrow. Yes, six MGA lectures taught by a meticulous professor sounds daunting, but it’ll give me the drive necessary to keep going and not just sit here and think.

Awkward Stage

Let’s be real, when have I ever not been in some sort of awkward stage? Pre-teen years, teenage years, young adult years – maybe it’s just me, I am and will forever be awkward. But being in school at this stage of life has been a bit unnerving. They said the average age for medical school is 25 – so really, I should think great, I’m right where I’m supposed to be. However I feel like I’m caught in the middle. Perhaps it’s because I’m in the South where marriages tend to happen sooner. Or maybe because it’s a relatively small town. But I feel like I’m caught in between two types of people. On one hand, you have the fresh out of school students who want to continue living out their college years by going to parties, drinking daily, and goofing around. On the other, you have the students who are married and/or have children and despite their age (as some of them are younger than me!), they are very formal, by the book, with no interests in socializing. I know I’m not twenty-one, but I’m also not an “old fart”. I want to hang out with friends, watch Netflix, maybe go to a movie, hike, etc. But I also don’t necessarily need alcohol in the picture to have a good time. I want friends who are at a similar point in life where I am – they’ve grown a bit so they’re not searching for the crazy, but who still enjoy exploring and winding down.

I <3 Nurses

Yesterday, during a scribe shift, I encountered two critical patients. There were so critically ill that my doctor stopped seeing new patients halfway through his shift so that he could move back and forth between the two and try to keep them from worsening.

Now for one of the patients, this doctor decided to place a central line in the femoral area. He invited me to come watch, but what seemed like a simple procedure turned into an Easter Egg Hunt. He pricked the patient numerous times in her left leg, in search for her femoral vein, but instead, nicking the femoral artery a few times. He then tried the subclavian, but once again, nicked the artery in his search for the vein. He tried the internal jugular vein once before deciding to put an end to his efforts. Now I understand that this isn’t an easy procedure, so I don’t believe the physician lacked any skill or knowledge for not being able to successfully place a central line. But as he continued to dig that needle in the patient, over and over, my eyes couldn’t help but drift to her face and empathize with the amount of fear and pain she was probably feeling. I wanted to hold her hand, comfort her – or at the very least, get the physician to snap out of his search so that he can acknowledge that there was an actual person attached to those veins and arteries.

Imagine my relief when the nurse, who was juggling both critical patients (as well as a few other patients), came in and began comforting the patient, requesting that he give doses of Ativan to ease the patient’s mind. Nurses are really the patient advocates, especially in an ER setting.

One profession is not subordinate to another – rather, the field of nursing vs doctoring are a dichotomy. Two completely different fields. And yet, nurses simply do not get the credit they deserve. A patient will wake up, and if saved from a life-threatening circumstance, will thank the doctor profusely. But he or she will not remember the nurse who spent hours ensuring that he or she were comfortable and well-cared for during his or her stay. We mustn’t forget, nurses are the heart of the ER.