A detour from the usual to discuss a topic that often comes up when discussing the fragility of “meant-to-be” relationships. It is relevant once more as a close friend of mine decides whether she is as in love with her first and only boyfriend as she was in the beginning. For friends who are faced with the dilemma, that their first crush, love, significant other might not be their soulmate, I always bring up the “Cory and Topanga” scenario from the TV show, Boy Meets World. However, whenever I do bring up this example, I always get looks of disbelief as if I was crazy. But hear me out, even if it was staged on a TV show, this scenario is one of the most applicable to our daily lives. Cory and Topanga had one of the most iconic television relationships of the 90s. And yet, even they had to break up and see other people, to realize how much they really, truly loved each other.
My AP Psychology teacher, Ms. Hewit, pretty much summed up the same belief in class one day:
“Do not commit to the first person you see. You need to see other people to find the right person. It’s like finding the perfect outfit. You need to ‘try on different clothes’ in order to find the one that fits YOU the best.”
I’m not comparing men and women to clothes. But the theory makes sense right? As humans, it is difficult for us to simply settle – from a biological standpoint, we are constantly looking for that partner who will provide us with optimal offspring. Some people end up searching their entire lives for this “ideal” soulmate. I don’t think this is appropriate either, as high expectations often leaves you in solitude. But if you haven’t put yourself out there – if you haven’t gotten to see what the world has to offer you, how do you know that this is THE person for you? And likewise, how do we know if that first chance – that first shot – is the right time and place? A relationship involves two core components – timing and chemistry. And maybe that first try wasn’t the right time or maybe both parties were just not on the same playing field. If even Cory & Topanga needed to give each other a second chance then I don’t see how we think we as real-life human beings are invincible.
Just some thoughts,