January 1, 2013

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Happy New Year!

With the start of the new year – a year of endless possibilities – today, I have made a resolution to blog more regularly. And it is the first step of many that I plan to take in order to take care of myself and have a better me.

Making time for your inner world, spirituality and self-inquiry becomes a necessity rather than a luxury now. Carve out time to sleep, dream, write, draw, journal or whatever it is that your soul needs to thrive during such a busy and productive time.

Today was unlike any other 1st of the year that I’ve ever experienced. First off, I did not count down to 12:00 AM. Period. I was not with friends, nor with family. I went straight to bed, tried to will myself to sleep, though failing miserably, and eventually knocked out. I woke up this morning and did not watch the Rose Parade, nor go to the temple as planned, but instead, stayed in bed until a fight with my father had me dragging myself out of bed. You could say that my pride got the better of me. And you know what, you are 99% right. That 1% is my pride not owning up. Regardless, I could have dismissed all the negative thoughts running through my head yesterday night and instead, put on a face and celebrated. But maybe, deep down, I didn’t want to ring in 2013 on a lie. Especially when so much is riding on this year.

A quick recap of New Year’s Eve 2012 to explain my, slightly less than ecstatic, mood can be found here. Reflecting on the events, I recognize that yesterday, regardless of it been the last day of 2012, was a bad day. And that just spoiled my mood for today. But it’s alright. Life goes on and I’m sure I’ll find a way to make up what was supposed to be the best 1st of the year in upcoming years.

But in a way, today was a good day. And this could be due to a materialistic reason such as going back to Old Navy, finding a pair of gray pants in the right size that fit well as well as trading in my ugly green flannel for a nice blue one. However, I’d like to attribute today’s success to my courage in speaking to a friend about my  love life/dilemma that I’ve been strung up on for the past seven years. It felt good to finally tell someone and to have him respond with genuine concern and understanding. Although, I’m sure he sees me as a little crazier now, I think he really will respect my wishes and help me on my quest of moving on and finding true love out there. I won’t be as childish as I was in the past and have my resolutions revolve around ‘finding my love’, ‘getting my first kiss’, and ‘having a boyfriend’. All of that will come in due time. For now, I will simply relish in that fact that I’ve moved one step forward

After creating considerable difficulty and challenge in your romantic sector since late 2009, you’ve learned the hard way not to get involved with the wrong people. When you draw a sharp line, your partner will respect you. If they cannot accept your limits, they do not deserve you. This has become crystal clear for you now, Gemini. It’s as if a huge rock is being lifted from your romantic life and you’re finally clear about whether you want to commit or quit

I’m quitting. I’m going cold turkey. This is the end of seven years and by this time next year, I hope to made advances in the romantic department – whether physically or spiritually. Until then, I will say that today has been one of the more productive 1st’s of January.

Happy Tuesday,

A.

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