I believe “planning” is in my blood. It’s who I am – I am a planner. Whether it’s planning class and weekly schedules to social gatherings, I’m your gal. So it’s not really surprising when, after all these years of planning and initiative, I suddenly begin to break down. Not to say that I’m breaking down right now. But it’s been evident for a few years now – probably since my first at UCLA – that when it comes to planning, I tend to sour at the thought. Sure, in new situations – or situations that desperately need it – I still pull through and plan accordingly. But I’ve definitely seen the downsides of planning – most apparent, when people comment after an event saying that it could have been “done better” or some other negative response.
I’ve thoroughly vented about this subject before. To my close friends, my co-workers, and my family. And everyone tells me the same thing – take a step back, let others take the lead. But I’ve noticed – when I don’t take charge, everything seems to fall apart. Is that just the type of people I tend to surround myself with?
Well, speculations aside, my mother finally gave me plausible challenge – plausible meaning that there are parameters. She challenged me to not take the initiative nor actively plan any events for this Winter Break. So unless I’m being invited to something or another, I won’t make plans. Not to say that I’ll be a complete couch potato – I will contribute when necessary. I just won’t be that excited puppy who contacts everyone and makes a thread and starts throwing out ideas/dates/times and gets put out at the end. This Winter Break is truly for me to recharge. I would of course love to see my friends. But – with the quarter I went through – it’s time for them to step up.
So if I don’t see you this break, it’s definitely nothing personal. It’s simply because I’m not taking the initiative.