Can you believe that the weekend we waited for, for what seemed like eternity, is almost over? It just goes back to what I said in my last post. The days drag on when you are anxious for something to arrive, however, whatever you dread comes by the quickest. Today marks the first day of March and with March comes both the acceptance and denial letters. So what happens when you’re both excited and hesitant about the arrival of something? Does time just stop? I wish . . it would give me time to organize both the thoughts in my head and the unfinished responsibilities on my plate. However, even when it seems like a day can’t go by any slower, time is still moving forward. So thirty days until we all know which colleges we can choose from. And on March 31st, we’re just 30 days closer to graduation. Ah graduation, such a bittersweet thought.
Whether one may be anticipating or dreading graduation on June 4th, I think we are all in agreement that these next three months should be the best. So why start or continue unnecessary drama? Either reconcile or let it go. Because at the end, it is NOT worth your precious time. This same mindset applies to other situations. Don’t keep yourself in the dark or let fear rule your life. I’m all about “carpe diem” and assertiveness, so if you want something to happen, GO out there and MAKE it happen.
“Well girl I’m sorry for disappointing you
But I’m done
With being up and down and pushed around”
Yeah, I know. Ewwww, Jonas Brothers reference. But hey, after seeing their 3D concert movie in theaters yesterday, they’re on my mind. Hmmm, most people ask me, “Why are you so obsessed with the JoBros?” Do you honestly want to know? Because no, I don’t think their music is the BEST in the world. In reality, I prefer other songs over theirs. And no, I don’t think Joe Jonas is the hottest guy in the world, although he is quite sexy at times. So why? Well, have you ever felt so vulnerable to the point where you can’t pull yourself out? When you know that life is moving on with or without you and you would do anything to just grab hold of something?
This is what I was feeling around the end of Sophomore year. Especially near my 16th birthday. Ha, my not-so-sweet sixteen. So one day, I’m turn on the TV and Disney Channel’s on. It’s a commercial break and a music video of the JoBros singing “Year 3000” comes on. Now mind you, I had watched the video before and wasn’t interested then. However, for some reason, my vulnerable state clutched on to the concept that day. It was as if, as long as I had something that was there and I could focus on, I wouldn’t lose sight of where I was going. I mean, I know the Jonas Brothers are way out of my range, but it was the fact that they would always remain there, along with their music, which made me smile. And before I knew it, I had become a fan. I know it sounds crazy and idiotic, but I’m not lying.
So all those feelings I felt, especially those when I went to see them in my first concert, came rushing back when I sat in those seats with my friends, singing and clapping like there was no tomorrow. And after seeing that movie, we movie-hopped into Confessions of a Shopaholic. And everything I stated above about the JoBros is what the main character, Rebecca, thought about shopping. Anyway, so at the beginning she said something about how shopping, unlike a man, would always be there and never let you down. But at the end, it changed to, a man will never decline you like shopping. Haha, so yeah, it was another hopeless romantic movie. Much better than “He’s Just Not That Into You”.
“Dreamers, you see everything in color
While the world is getting darker
Love is on its way”
Damn, I sure hope love is on it’s way. Speaking of love, I have a question that’s been bothering me all day today and was asked by my brilliant mentee Diana. What is the difference between a boyfriend and a REALLY close guy friend other than physical means? So as to say, does physical means define the crossing over from close friends to boyfriend? I told Diana that in order to be in a relationship with someone, you need to have that emotional connection with them. Because without that emotional connection, you’re just friends with benefits. But then, what is that emotional connection that you can’t get with a really close friend? Something to think about.
I would write more, or at least something more inspiring, but I’m near tears right now as Diana and I talk about our last Leo moments together. Part of me wants to ask Tim if I could make a speech to the Leo Club at the end-of-the-year banquet. And it wouldn’t be a formal speech. It would be me addressing all those special moments we all had together. But 1.) I am 100% sure I would start crying. 2.) That was Arya’s idea and I really don’t want to rip it off. I have to do something though, because Leo Club isn’t just a club. It’s my life.